Logline Revision Critiques #21

TITLE: Amongst
GENRE: Middle Grade Fantasy
Original critique on MSFV

No one has ever left Verandale…at least not with their body still wrapped around their soul.
But thirteen year-old Enoch believes he has discovered a way to escape.

Logline Revision Critiques #20

TITLE: Twenty-Four Hour Boy
GENRE: Contemporary Middle Grade
Original critique on MSFV

Up all night, every night, ten-year old gadget-maker Hunter Harris is happy with his freakish lifestyle. Unfortunately, when Hunter reports a strange light and noises in the night and then a murder next door his parents question his sanity and Hunter has to prove that he was telling the truth or risk losing his secret life forever.

Logline Revision Critiques #19

TITLE: BREAK FREE

GENRE: YA FANTASY

Original critique on MSFV

Indentured servant Kiel Reaux has one goal: deliver a spell-stone to his boss, the Baron of Old Town, and earn his freedom before his chains become a noose. But when the delivery goes balls up, and lands him in the hands of slavers, Kiel is sold to a priestess who promises him freedom if he escorts her through a murderous magical jungle. Caught between the deadly jungle and the equally deadly Baron who’s tired of waiting for his spell-stone, freedom becomes the least of Kiel’s problems. Freedom means nothing if he’s dead.

Logline Revision Critiques #18

TITLE:  Listening In The Snow

GENRE: Middle Grade Fiction

Original critique on MSFV

In the deep of a dark Vermont winter, eleven-year-old Nathan Hayes, a shy stutterer, breaks into the long-abandoned Specter house, willing to brave its legendary ghosts in order to find the magic charm he believes will bring his mother home.

Logline Revision Critiques #17

TITLE: The Duct Tape, Cereal Box Knight
GENRE: Middle Grade Fantasy
Original critique on MSFV

When an oversized eleven-year-old with a penchant for creative recycling unites two halves of an oyster shell, he unwittingly sets off a chain reaction of storms that threaten to flood the world. To stop the catastrophe, he'll have to slay a sinister dragon who bears more than a passing resemblance to the school bully he fears.

Logline Revision Critiques #16

TITLE: The Disappointment Country

GENRE: Adventure/thriller

Never dare someone who runs on one leg. When idealistic outdoorsman Cutter overcomes his amputation to build an “adventure ranch” in remote Colorado, a vengeful former mentor with a war-crimes secret schemes to take it over to hide a mercenary training operation. Cutter must survive wildfire set by a beautiful pawn and a midnight mountain bike chase to save Double Dare Ranch.

Logline Revision Critiques #15

TITLE: FORCED TO FLY

GENRE: YA Fantasy

Original critique on MSFV

Lori Gibbs can fly, a rare gift, so her power-hungry parents register her in Easten's Talent Show. If she impresses the judges, her parents earn the opportunity to serve on the ruling Council of Easten. If Lori fails, she'll hang.