Logline Revision Critiques #22

TITLE: DEATHLESS
GENRE: YA Fantasy
Original critique on MSFV

When an army of ancient monsters threatens to overrun her country, 17-year-old fugitive, Zee, joins the army to win a reprieve from her death sentence, only to discover that she is the key to awakening the centuries-old goddesses the monsters are fighting to free.

Logline Revision Critiques #21

TITLE: Amongst
GENRE: Middle Grade Fantasy
Original critique on MSFV

No one has ever left Verandale…at least not with their body still wrapped around their soul.
But thirteen year-old Enoch believes he has discovered a way to escape.

Logline Revision Critiques #20

TITLE: Twenty-Four Hour Boy
GENRE: Contemporary Middle Grade
Original critique on MSFV

Up all night, every night, ten-year old gadget-maker Hunter Harris is happy with his freakish lifestyle. Unfortunately, when Hunter reports a strange light and noises in the night and then a murder next door his parents question his sanity and Hunter has to prove that he was telling the truth or risk losing his secret life forever.

Logline Revision Critiques #19

TITLE: BREAK FREE

GENRE: YA FANTASY

Original critique on MSFV

Indentured servant Kiel Reaux has one goal: deliver a spell-stone to his boss, the Baron of Old Town, and earn his freedom before his chains become a noose. But when the delivery goes balls up, and lands him in the hands of slavers, Kiel is sold to a priestess who promises him freedom if he escorts her through a murderous magical jungle. Caught between the deadly jungle and the equally deadly Baron who’s tired of waiting for his spell-stone, freedom becomes the least of Kiel’s problems. Freedom means nothing if he’s dead.

Logline Revision Critiques #18

TITLE:  Listening In The Snow

GENRE: Middle Grade Fiction

Original critique on MSFV

In the deep of a dark Vermont winter, eleven-year-old Nathan Hayes, a shy stutterer, breaks into the long-abandoned Specter house, willing to brave its legendary ghosts in order to find the magic charm he believes will bring his mother home.

Logline Revision Critiques #17

TITLE: The Duct Tape, Cereal Box Knight
GENRE: Middle Grade Fantasy
Original critique on MSFV

When an oversized eleven-year-old with a penchant for creative recycling unites two halves of an oyster shell, he unwittingly sets off a chain reaction of storms that threaten to flood the world. To stop the catastrophe, he'll have to slay a sinister dragon who bears more than a passing resemblance to the school bully he fears.

Logline Revision Critiques #16

TITLE: The Disappointment Country

GENRE: Adventure/thriller

Never dare someone who runs on one leg. When idealistic outdoorsman Cutter overcomes his amputation to build an “adventure ranch” in remote Colorado, a vengeful former mentor with a war-crimes secret schemes to take it over to hide a mercenary training operation. Cutter must survive wildfire set by a beautiful pawn and a midnight mountain bike chase to save Double Dare Ranch.