Playing Agent for a Day

Nathan Bransford is running an interesting game on his blog called Agent for a Day. On Monday, he threw 50 queries up on his blog, at random times, to simulate what happens with his slush pile (3 of them are queries that led to actual, published books). Those who want to play need to read the queries and request or reject as if they were an agent, but we're allowed to request no more than 5.

After 4 hours (interrupted by toddlers and a meal or two), I finished all 50. I probably could've done it faster if I just said a quick "yes" or "no" (or better, if I just didn't respond if I wasn't interested), but I also wanted to help those whose queries got chosen. So I left a short suggestion on most of them.

Anyway, here's what I learned about query letters:

1. Most bad queries were vague with the details. Instead of saying, "Frodo must keep the ring from falling into the clutches of Sauron, the dark wizard," they'd say, "Frodo is up against the forces of evil." Instead of "Meg Ryan finds herself attracted to the arrogant bookstore owner who's running her out of business," they write "Meg Ryan finds love in the unlikeliest of places." This is bad for two reasons: (1) vague is boring, specific is interesting and (2) without specifics, your story sounds like every other story ever written.
2. Many bad queries were vague with the ending. The premise sounded interesting, but I passed because I wasn't sure if the story delivered on the promise (and there were lots of other queries that did).
3. The little mistakes that sites like Query Shark and Evil Editor rail against (e.g. mentioning you were a finalist in a writing contest, or putting word count/bio info first) were never a reason for my rejection. If the premise was good and the query well-written, I didn't care about anything else.
4. Some little mistakes were the reason for my rejection however. For example, if a query, or even a paragraph, was too long, it could make a decent query hard to understand and the story hard to find.
5. Almost everybody had good ideas. Not everybody knew how to write about them.
6. Not a single query was perfect. Even the 5 I chose had points against them.

Nathan asked us to look for stories that were publishable, whether or not they were our favorite genre. Even so, it was really hard for me to be objective. Every time I saw a SF/Fantasy hook, I got really interested and gave the query more grace than I might have otherwise.

The game has me worried, though, because I could imagine what my query would look like amidst the slush. I don't know if I can write a query that would stand out, but these tips will help, I know.

The queries are still on the blog, and the game runs through to Saturday. So if you want to play you can (and you don't have to do it all at once, like I did).

Two Important Announcements

First announcement: As of this moment, I am officially a published author. Thaumatrope has published all 22 words of a science-fiction Easter story I wrote for them. You can read it here.

I have a second story due to be published on August 17, this year. You don't have to remember that date. I'll link to it here when it happens. Also, Thaumatrope is open for submissions again, including serials. If that sounds interesting, there's more information here.

Second announcement: The first draft of Air Pirates is finished, after 19 months. That's a long time, but... well, I'll give you a breakdown of that whole process one of these days. With graphs and everything. It'll be great.

You'd think the hard part is over, but it's just beginning. Brainstorming, outlining, plotting, writing... these are the fun bits, when the story's fresh and exciting in my mind, and nobody else is telling me the truth (i.e. that it's not fresh or exciting). So let's take a look at the next couple of months:

1. Ending: Fix the resolution to meet the standards of my Beloved Alpha Reader and myself. This is currently the best ending I've written so far, but it is still merely mediocre - not as satisfying as it could be. Cindy's helping me make it better. ETC: 1-2 writing days.
2. Continuity: Go through the revision notes I made while writing and repair the novel's continuity (I broke it a little during the later chapters because the way I'd planned things wasn't working). ETC: 1 writing day.
3. Polish: Read through the whole novel, fixing everything I see. ETC: 1-4 weeks? I'm not really sure.
   
4. Beginning: Go back one last time and give the opening special attention. ETC: 2-3 writing days.
5. Beta Phase: Send the novel out to beta readers and await their response. ETC: 2-6 weeks.
   
6. Freak Out: Getting feedback is the best and worst part of this process. I love hearing what people liked (especially when it's some scene taken the way I meant it). I hate hearing about things I need to fix.* ETC: Ongoing.

I'll talk more about the beta phase when I get there. For now, I need to work up the nerve to revise, and I need to figure out what daily stats mean for me in the revision phase. I think that's part of what this list is for; it's a means for me to track my progress and help me feel better about myself.

I have to admit, I'm kind of rabbit-in-the-headlights right now. I'm scared to take a break, and I'm scared not to. I'm afraid to touch it, but I know I can't leave it. I just need to sit down in front of it and make something happen, I guess.

* This is the part where I'm not thinking like a pro yet. I get critiques and think, "Crap, you mean it isn't finished yet?" Hopefully I'll be able to get over this attitude with some practice.

Cliffhangers

There's one problem with endings the way I described them. Like Dr. Manhattan said, "Nothing ever ends." Stuff happens before a story starts and stuff happens after it ends. The end is not an end, just a stopping point. So in a sense, something always has to be left hanging.

For standalone stories, that's often stuff we don't care about. The killer is caught, and we're content to know everybody goes back to their normal lives. The guy and girl get together and live happily ever after (or maybe not, but we're content to know they start the rest of their lives together).

But what if it's part of a series? How do you provide an ending that satisfies the reader, while leaving gaps open for a sequel? I think it's related to the promises I talked about last time. One of those promises is that all the reader's questions will be answered, or at least touched on.

As an example, let's look at another classic: The Empire Strikes Back. Going into the climax, what are the viewer's questions?

1. Will Luke escape the trap?
2. Will Luke rescue Han, Leia, and the rest?
3. Will everyone survive?
4. Who is the "other hope" Yoda mentioned when Luke left Degobah?

The first two are answered completely, the third partially, the fourth not at all. Luke escapes (barely). He is not able to rescue Han, but he rescues the rest of them. Everyone survives (meaning they are brought back to a place of safety), except Han.

The fact that we don't know who the "other hope" is doesn't bother us because it's not a Big Question. It's mysterious and intriguing, but it's not vital to this story. These are the kinds of questions that can (usually) be left unanswered without causing an uproar.

But what about Han? The question "Will everyone survive?" is a always a Big Question for action/adventure stories. So why is this okay? I can think of three reasons.

First, we know there will be a sequel. If Empire were pitched as a standalone, people would have been more angry about Han. Lesson: Don't leave big cliffhangers unless you're sure you'll be able to write the sequel.

Second, Empire gives us lots of clues as to the direction the story is headed after the ending. We've been assured that Han is alive and safe in the carbonite. Lando has earned our trust, and he and Chewie are going after Han. Luke says when he's well, he will do the same. Lesson: Give the reader clues so they can piece together their own ending.

Third, the story of Empire was not about Han. Empire was about Luke learning to be a Jedi, and what it meant for him to face Darth Vader. That story was resolved satisfactorily. But if Han had been frozen in carbonite near the beginning of the story, and most of the movie was about trying to save him, then we'd be pissed if at the end he wasn't either rescued or dead. Lesson: Determine what story you're telling, and resolve that story completely.

Finally, I want to say that ambiguity is dangerous. There probably were some people who were angry at the way Empire ended. With ambiguous endings, somebody will always be upset that not all the threads were tied up. Everyone has their own threads they care about more than anyone else, and if you happened to leave their thread hanging, they'll be upset.

So I guess the lesson is: Be ambiguous at your own risk.

Endings, Again

I'm only a couple of days out from finishing Air Pirates. It's exciting (obviously). On the other hand, this last chapter has been taking longer than the others because it's the end. It has to be good. To do that, as Natalie said in her post on endings, I have to take it slow.

So obviously I've been spending a lot of time thinking about what makes an ending good. I've mentioned before that I have a problem with endings. I think I'm starting to figure out why.

As a writer, one thing you have to realize is that while you're telling your story, you are making certain promises to your reader. Some of those promises are inherent in the genre you're writing: if you're writing a murder mystery, you promise the reader will learn who did it and why; if it's a romance, you promise the right people will get together in the end.*

But genre aside, every story makes promises, and it's your job to give the reader what they want. That doesn't mean you have to be predictable, but throw in the wrong kind of twist and your reader will throw your book across the room in frustration.

Let's look at an example. Halfway through Back to the Future, everything's set up for a big climax. The two major conflicts (will Marty get back to the future? can he get his parents together so he still exists when he gets there?) are set up so that Marty's only chance at both is at the same time: the night of the Enchantment Under the Sea Dance. How does this have to end? You might think there are a thousand ways it could end - after all, anything's possible - but the truth is that the viewer is expecting a very limited subset of what is possible.

In BttF, the viewer expects Marty to get home and his parents to get together. Why? Because it's a light-hearted, funny movie. From the very beginning, the movie sends subtle clues that this will be a fun story, which implies a happy ending. There are a number of twists that can happen, but if Marty dies in the end, or gets stuck in the past forever, the viewer will be upset.

BttF also sent signals about what kind of climax it would be. Because there are action scenes (the Libyans attacking Doc Brown, Biff and his goons chasing Marty), the reader expects not just similar, but bigger, action for the climax. Because the movie is funny, we expect a little comic relief from the climax (or at least aren't blind-sided when it happens).

There's more. Marty's dad didn't have to become confident, did he? Could Marty have gone home and found everything exactly as he left it - loser parents and all? He probably could have, but we're all glad he didn't, because the viewer expects the characters they care about will not only win, but win big (or, if it's a tragedy, lose big). It's not enough for George McFly to get the right girl, he has to become more than he was before Marty interfered. Marty doesn't just come back home, he comes back to something better (a new truck, Doc Brown lives and is a closer friend to him than ever).

I'm not saying all endings have to be happy and predictable, but they have to be satisfying. They have to be bigger and better than anything that's happened in the book so far. If you twist it, the twist should be better than the straight-forward ending would have been - don't twist just to be unpredictable (woah, that advice came out of nowhere, and I realize I need to follow it!).

This post is long already, and there was something else I wanted to say about cliffhangers. I'll put it off for another post. In the meantime, ask yourself, what has to happen in the end? Twists and details aside, where do the characters have to end up for me to be satisfied? That's where the ending needs to go.


* These rules aren't strictly true 100% of the time, of course. They can be broken, but if you don't know what you're doing, nobody will put up with you breaking them.

Language Problems

(For WAG #6: Overheard, in which the goal is to eavesdrop and notice how people really talk. I had some problems, as you'll see, and so shattered the rules into tiny, glittering pieces on the floor. Wear shoes.)

I can't understand you. I've lived here 4 years, even went to school to learn your language, but I can't understand you. You're not speaking your language.

I realize they didn't teach me about languages in the US. Oh, they teach the big ones - Spanish, French, maybe Chinese - but nobody is expected to actually use them. When someone, or some country, doesn't speak English, the typical American sentiment is, "Why don't they just learn English?"

I didn't want to be like that, so when I came here I determined to learn Thai the best I could. For you. I've done that, am still doing that, but though Thai is the national language, it's hardly the language everyone speaks.

Even in my own house, Thai is everyone's second language. My wife and I speak English. My oldest daughter grew up speaking Karen. My youngest daughter speaks Lisu with her mom, Kham Mueang with her school friends, and English with me; she only uses Thai with her teachers.

By your rhythms and sounds, I know you're speaking Kham Mueang. I recognize it, even know a word or two, but I don't understand you. In northern Thailand, everyone speaks Kham Mueang. Everyone but me. In the market, if my face didn't already mark me as an outsider, my use of the so-called "national language" would.

It's not really fair, you know? Why can't you all just learn English?

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Other participants in WAG #6:

How to Join the Writing Adventure Group

Cora Zane

Christine Kirchoff

Nancy J Parra

Mickey Hoffman

Sharon Donovan

Iain Martin

Criss

Lulu

Jon Strother

Marsha

Carol

Book Trailers

I didn't know there was such a thing as book trailers until a few months ago. They're... weird. Let me explain.

First, some definition. A book trailer is like a movie trailer. It's an ad designed to get you excited about the book so you'll pay for it. The major difference, obviously, is that movie trailers have about 2 hours of existing footage to work with, every second of which accurately portrays the movie being advertised (because, obviously, it is the movie being advertised).

It's because book trailers don't have this that they're so weird. About the only visual both a book and its trailer share is the book cover. So they have to make do with stock pictures, movie soundtracks, actors playing out scenes expressly for the trailer... none of which are a part of the actual experience of reading the book.

There's another weird aspect to book trailers. Due to the ease of making videos and putting them online, there's a lot of amateur book trailers out there - both fan trailers for bestselling books and actual trailers done by midlist authors themselves. Some of them are pans and zooms of the book cover while the author reads the back cover blurb. Some use stock footage to help visualize the narration. Some piece together clips from actual movies.

Some of these amateur trailers are decent. Many are not.

I think the reason I find book trailers weird is because I'm comparing them to movie trailers. On the one hand, it's an unfair comparison - the mediums are very different. On the other hand, the comparison is demanded; most book trailers are trying to be movie trailers. They're even called "trailers."

Which brings me to my question: what should book trailers be? Should they be like movie trailers - a visual representation of the book? Or should they be something else (and what)?

I'm not sure there's one right answer to this. The better trailers I've seen are good more because of the production quality than because of any methods used.

I will say that I'm not sure about the movie-clips-as-trailer method. It looks cool, but I think it sends mixed messages to the viewer. Especially if the clips are from movies I'm familiar with, I get confused as to what's being advertised. Often I find myself, at the end, more excited about the movies than the book.

Travelers on Hold; Air Pirates Nearly Drafted

If you look at the status of my works in progress on the sidebar, you'll notice two things.

First, I have changed Travelers' status from "Querying agents" to "On hold". In truth, I haven't really done anything for Travelers for two or three months now. There are still a few agents who haven't gotten back to me, but given the overwhelming number of negative responses, I'm not optimistic. Some statistics...

Queried: 60 agents
Form rejections: 39
No response: 19
Personalized rejections: 2 (thank you, Ms. Gendell and Ms. Meadows!)
Partial requests: 0
Full requests: 0

From the personalized rejections, I've gathered that (1) my current query letter doesn't suck, (2) neither does my voice or writing style, but (3) the characters in the early parts of the novel are not characterized very well and/or the agents didn't feel as connected to the characters as they wanted to (Arad and Garrett were mentioned, in particular).

I'm leaving the first chapter online for now. I may consider a rewrite later, but I'm not going to think about that until I'm farther along in the query process of Air Pirates and am thinking of my next project.

Which brings me to the second thing. I'm writing the final chapter of Air Pirates (Whee!). It's taken me 1.5 years to write the whole draft. That's a lot slower than some people, but it's about 3x faster than the last novel I wrote (so that means the sequel will be done in 6 months, right? Right?).

I'm excited (obviously, since I'm posting about it before I've actually done it), and I'm ready. I have the query letter all set. I've got a 4-5 month timeline for the beta/revision phase of the project. I even have a first draft of "instructions" for my beta readers. That's right, I'm that neurotic.

I guess that's all I have to say. I'm excited. When the draft is finished, you'll hear it here. When I need beta readers (I have 2, but I think I want a few more this time around), you'll hear it here. Maybe I should give you guys some excerpts or something. I'm just so excited!

Okay, I need to outline the chapter before I have to eat all my words. Words are gross!