How to Get Schooled by a 4-Year-Old

My daughter Anica is beautiful, ruthless, and ridiculously smart. She embodies every connotation of the word precocious.

In this chapter, she and I play a game called "I'm Thinking of an Animal" -- kind of a kindergarten version of Twenty Questions. (I designed it myself. I'm so very smart.)

Sometimes, Anica gets bored and messes with me.

Me: "I'm thinking of an animal that's black and white." Anica: "A cow!" Me: "AND it has wings and swims very well." Anica: "A birdcowfish!"
— Adam Heine (@adamheine) May 29, 2014

 

But that's just her playing around. Recently, she got ruthless.

Anica: "I'm thinking of a duck. What is it?" Me: "Um..a duck." Anica: "No. Do you want to know what it is?" Me: "Yes." Anica: "It's a duck."
— Adam Heine (@adamheine) December 12, 2014

Trying to outsmart her is futile.

Anica: "I'm thinking of a panda." Me: "It's a panda." Anica: "Nope." Me: "It's a panda." Anica: "No, it's a duck."
— Adam Heine (@adamheine) December 13, 2014

Even when she takes pity on me.

Anica: "I'm thinking of a cow, which means it's something else." Me: "How do I know?" Anica: "Guess!" Me: "A duck." Anica: "No, it's a dog."
— Adam Heine (@adamheine) December 13, 2014

Even when it's my turn.

Me: "I'm thinking of a snake." Anica: "It's a duck." Me: "No." Anica: "It's a dog." Me: "No." (cont...)
— Adam Heine (@adamheine) December 13, 2014

(...cont) Anica: "It's an eel." Me: "No." Anica: "Yes, because it looks like a snake." Me: "HOW DO I WIN THIS GAME?"
— Adam Heine (@adamheine) December 13, 2014

At least my daughter still has one shred of compassion.

Anica: "I'm thinking of a duck that's an ostrich." Me: "Um... a penguin." Anica: "You got it!" #finally
— Adam Heine (@adamheine) December 13, 2014

My only hope, at this point, is to curry favor for when she rules the world.