5 Weird Facts About 2015

These facts are weird to me, at least. Most of these are true this year. All are recently true.

(1) We've lived in Chiang Mai longer than we had lived in San Diego.

San Diego's our home, man. At least it used to be. But we've been living in a place where all TV shows are geo-blocked (and also available down the street for $1/disc), and where Sprite is pronounced "sapai," for more years than any place I've lived in except the place I was born.

(2) We've been attending our current church longer than we had attended our supporting church.
Equally strange. The friends and family who support our foster work have been going to church without us longer than they went to church with us. Heck, most of them don't even go to that church anymore.

Corollary weirdness (but also extremely cool): Our support hasn't dropped off a bit in ten years.

(3) I've been working for inXile longer than I worked for Black Isle.
With the notoriety of Planescape: Torment and the subsequent Kickstarter, one would think I worked at Black Isle for years and years, but really I was only there for about eighteen months. I played Fallout in college, joined up for most of PST's production and the beginnings of TORN, and then I left. Now I'm like a Design Lead or something.

And I live in Thailand. I mean, my commute was pretty bad before, but my current commute is sixteen times worse.

(4) We've been married with kids longer than we've been married without.
This probably shouldn't be weird, but it is. I don't remember what we did without kids. Well, yes I do: we played Settlers and Ticket to Ride and Mario Tennis and SSX Tricky until we remembered that we had to go to work in that nebulous future thing called "tomorrow morning." What I don't remember is how we did that.

(5) I've known my wife longer than I haven't known her.
This also falls under the "extremely cool" category, but it's strange to think that I've known Cindy for most of my life, yet I grew up without her. How is that even possible? Surely I loved her from afar in Junior High, or spent fourth grade staring at the back of her head, or became pretend-engaged to her in Kindergarten. And I definitely walked her home in highschool, stressing about whether I should ask her out or not the whole way. Except I didn't do any of those things. I didn't even meet her until college, but it definitely doesn't feel that way.

Maybe I'll feel better if I photoshop her into some of my school photos, to match what's in my head.

How to Get Schooled by a 4-Year-Old

My daughter Anica is beautiful, ruthless, and ridiculously smart. She embodies every connotation of the word precocious.

In this chapter, she and I play a game called "I'm Thinking of an Animal" -- kind of a kindergarten version of Twenty Questions. (I designed it myself. I'm so very smart.)

Sometimes, Anica gets bored and messes with me.

Me: "I'm thinking of an animal that's black and white." Anica: "A cow!" Me: "AND it has wings and swims very well." Anica: "A birdcowfish!"
— Adam Heine (@adamheine) May 29, 2014

 

But that's just her playing around. Recently, she got ruthless.

Anica: "I'm thinking of a duck. What is it?" Me: "Um..a duck." Anica: "No. Do you want to know what it is?" Me: "Yes." Anica: "It's a duck."
— Adam Heine (@adamheine) December 12, 2014

Trying to outsmart her is futile.

Anica: "I'm thinking of a panda." Me: "It's a panda." Anica: "Nope." Me: "It's a panda." Anica: "No, it's a duck."
— Adam Heine (@adamheine) December 13, 2014

Even when she takes pity on me.

Anica: "I'm thinking of a cow, which means it's something else." Me: "How do I know?" Anica: "Guess!" Me: "A duck." Anica: "No, it's a dog."
— Adam Heine (@adamheine) December 13, 2014

Even when it's my turn.

Me: "I'm thinking of a snake." Anica: "It's a duck." Me: "No." Anica: "It's a dog." Me: "No." (cont...)
— Adam Heine (@adamheine) December 13, 2014

(...cont) Anica: "It's an eel." Me: "No." Anica: "Yes, because it looks like a snake." Me: "HOW DO I WIN THIS GAME?"
— Adam Heine (@adamheine) December 13, 2014

At least my daughter still has one shred of compassion.

Anica: "I'm thinking of a duck that's an ostrich." Me: "Um... a penguin." Anica: "You got it!" #finally
— Adam Heine (@adamheine) December 13, 2014

My only hope, at this point, is to curry favor for when she rules the world.